by Meghan Shannon Elder | Feb 19, 2019 | Ayahuasca Sacred Medicine, Meghan's Ayahuasca Apprenticeship Journals, Meghan's Posts, Shadow Work, Shamanism, Society and Beliefs, Spiritual Development
The way I see it, the ego is there as a defender of our weak, vulnerable, fear spots. Not an enemy, actually an ally at times where it’s the only reason we survived. But after awhile, those belief systems become solid, and route thoughts through the maze of what the... 
by Meghan Shannon Elder | Apr 1, 2011 | Ayahuasca Sacred Medicine, Meghan's Ayahuasca Apprenticeship Journals, Meghan's Posts, Shadow Work, Shamanism, Society and Beliefs, Spiritual Development
…but it kind of fizzled down as that purge seems to be coming to completion. I’m developing the freedom to choose, intead of subconsiously rebelling against myself. It all came to a head last weekend. Sometimes it’s not an obvious trigger. FULL... 
by Meghan Shannon Elder | Feb 27, 2011 | Ayahuasca Sacred Medicine, Meghan's Ayahuasca Apprenticeship Journals, Meghan's Posts, Shadow Work, Shamanism, Society and Beliefs, Spiritual Development
The question is, am I in service or not? Am I willing to do what it takes to be in spiritual service? I feel like it’s “selling in” (vs. “selling out”) – like a Peruvian mother who sacrifices time with her children to work in the US... 
by Meghan Shannon Elder | Feb 2, 2011 | Ayahuasca Sacred Medicine, Meghan's Ayahuasca Apprenticeship Journals, Meghan's Posts, Relationships and Family, Shadow Work, Shamanism, Society and Beliefs, Spiritual Development
But longing is not honoring the love at all. It is honoring the fear. It is a way of distracting. It is a way from avoiding feeling the feelings I may have actually been feeling underneath, which for me, would be a self-fulfilling prophecy of the self-doubt that... 
by Meghan Shannon Elder | Jan 19, 2011 | Ayahuasca Sacred Medicine, Meghan's Ayahuasca Apprenticeship Journals, Meghan's Posts, Relationships and Family, Shadow Work, Shamanism, Society and Beliefs, Spiritual Development
Part of releasing this core self-doubt involves learning to manage its defense mechanism: control. Trying to force someone to like me. Trying to force myself into being someone else to make them like me. The last “blanket” of crap, muting my true colors.... 